Dealing with grief

Life goes on, as they say. But as much as life does go on, we should remember that death is very much a part of life. Dealing with the passing of a loved one or a friend or a colleague is never easy.

So far, I have only dealt with the passing of a small number of people that I know. My paternal grandfather passed away when I was very little, so I don't remember much about it. My paternal grandmother and maternal great grandmother passed away when I was studying in the UK. So, I didn't really go through the experience of having to be there at their funerals, and I managed to cope quite well. Perhaps, the physical distance helped. Both my maternal grandparents passed away before my mother got married, so no real experience there.

The only real and close encounter with having to deal with the passing of a relative was when my aunt passed away about two years ago. My wife and I was at her bedside in the ICU of Institut Jantung Negara (IJN) about half an hour before she drew her last breath. When we left IJN, we got a call from another aunt saying that she was gone. We drove back to IJN, then literally escorted the ambulance to Putrajaya where she was to be buried. The next day was the funeral. My parents came all the way from Kulim. It was quite a family reunion, though everyone was mourning.

Now, I'm dealing with the death of a friend. I feel somewhat strange today. It's as if a part of my past is now missing. Come to think of it, each and everyone whom we meet makes up a little piece of the jigsaw puzzle that we call "life." When that little piece is gone, the picture is no longer perfect.

Grieving is a learning experience as we traverse this life of ours. In our lifetime, we will grief for others. But alas, we have to learn to cope with grief, and get on with our lives. Those who have passed on will always be remembered and cherished in our memories.