One year as a blogger

It's already after midnight, so officially it's already the 28th of March. I would have preferred to have this blogged on the 27th, but alas it was not meant to be. I got tied up with so many things today, and I was in Shah Alam for most of the day that I wasn't able to blog. Even if I was at the office, things were not conducive. The whole office is like a warzone because of the presence of workers doing some renovation work. I just couldn't focus with the noise, smoke and dust.

Anyhow, the 27th of March marks the first anniversary of TeropongSkop the blog. This is the blog's 180th post.

I've gained new friends, renewed friendship with old ones, and most importantly, the blogging experience has enabled me to better myself in more ways than one. Thank you for the support given, and insya-Allah I will continue blogging for as long as possible.

Lost in translation

I found this article online from a magazine called Onzewerld. I gather from the URL's address, the magazine is published in the Netherlands.

I can't understand the language, but can barely make out certain words. I believe this article is on modern Islam or Islam in the modern world; and incorporated interviews with well-known Malaysia columnists Karim Raslan and Farish Noor, and apparently myself. Truth be told, I had no recollection of being interviewed by someone from the Netherlands, but I would really like to know what the article says, in particular, what the article says what I say.

Is there anyone out there who can help with the translation? I would certainly appreciate it a lot.

I would like to thank...

Friday the 23rd of March was historical for me in a way or two. Throughout my entire life, I have entered and participated in many competitions, especially when I was in school. I have won quite a few awards in several competitions. I remember helping my school team to come in second for the whole state of Johor in 1984 in a BM Quiz, and again second for the whole state of Johor in 1985 in an English Quiz. I also remember participating in numerous quizzes when I was in secondary school - either coming in first or runner-up in most of these competitions. The most memorable competition that I entered was perhaps the 1990 English Debating Competition in Sungai Petani, where our school who was defending champion managed to retain the championship, and I was announced as best debater. Truth be told, I never really wanted to enter the debating competition in the first place, but I was instructed to do so by the Principal. I never liked and was never interested in debates, but in retrospect, the experience was indeed beneficial.

All these achievements were stories from my past. Since then, I have not entered any competitions. That is, until 2006. I put up a challenge to myself to participate in a script-writing competition organised by IKIM. I was not eligible to participate when I was a staff there. So, when I left the organisation, I took myself to task in coming up with a script for a television drama. I have written short stories, a novel, countless academic working papers, hundreds of articles for newspapers and magazines, and God knows what else - but I've never penned down a television drama script. It was quite a challenge, but on Friday, I supposed it paid off, literally and figuratively.

As a novice in script-writing, imagine my pleasant surprise that my entry - the first ever (and so far, only) script I've ever written - came in second in the competition. The prizes were given away by the Yang Dipertuan Agong.

Therefore, at the risk of sounding very much like the Academy Awards, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has supported this endeavour. In particular, I would like to thank my lovely wife, my loveable son and my doting parents for their understanding in my staying up late on most nights which are spent on writing. I would also like to thank IKIM for giving me the exposure needed to comprehend the issues at hand, so much so that I could incorporate them in the script that I wrote. And my thanks to all who have directly or indirectly motivated me to continue writing.

And continue writing, I will... insya-Allah.

Enlightening

Many of us talk about our work and career from time to time. Some are thinking about leaving. Others are not happy with their workplace. That's why when I read this article, I find it to be very true to life.

Have a read, and perhaps you can share this enlightening piece with others (especially the bosses)!

First day of spring

Not that anyone in the country will notice, but today is the first day of spring if we are situated in temperate countries at the northern hemisphere. Flowers blooming, trees greening, people started going to the parks... it is quite a sight to tell you honestly.

But then again, there's no place like home.

100 faces... 100 hopes

Last Sunday was the last day I spent with the 100 students who underwent an intensive Japanese language course. Over the past 10 weeks, I got to know these wonderful, hardworking and energetic students from all over the country. They finished the course with flying colours, having picked up Japanese quite well. If you listen to them speaking Japanese with your eyes closed, you wouldn't think for a second that they have only learnt the language about 2 and a half months ago - and you wouldn't certainly think that the ones speaking Japanese are Malaysians!

It was in a way quite emotional for the students on their last day of the programme. They received their certificates and put up a show for their parents and guardians. I could see it in their eyes that they are all destined for a great future ahead of them. Each of them carries within themselves hopes for a better future for the country.

I wish them all the very best. I'm not sure whether I'll see them again, but I know that the time spent training these students were one of the best times in my life. I have certainly been motivated to better myself. As a matter of fact, I have challenged myself to do something I never thought of before... and that is to learn Japanese.

And for this new challenge I put to myself, I say to these students, arigatogozaimasu.

Welcome to the world

My sister-in-law (my brother's wife) gave birth to a baby girl yesterday afternoon. With this birth, my parents now have 3 grandchildren.

My other sister-in-law (my wife's twin sister) is expected to give birth on the 28th of this month. With that birth, my mother-in-law will have... hmmm, give me a second to count... 18 grandchildren.

In any case, this month my son gets 2 new cousins.

In death we remember life

I know that my previous posts touched quite a bit on death. But let's not forget life as we deal with someone's death. Our lives need to go on. Life and death is part and parcel of all our lives.

While we mourn someone's passing, let us also not forget those who are still fighting to survive. For instance, people like 14-year old Tee Hui Yi who is now waiting for a new heart. She's now using a mechanical heart while waiting for a donor. It is heartwarming to see heart recipient, Fikri, giving her the encouragement and moral support.

You can read this story here, and Fikri's account of the story at his blog here.

Dealing with grief

Life goes on, as they say. But as much as life does go on, we should remember that death is very much a part of life. Dealing with the passing of a loved one or a friend or a colleague is never easy.

So far, I have only dealt with the passing of a small number of people that I know. My paternal grandfather passed away when I was very little, so I don't remember much about it. My paternal grandmother and maternal great grandmother passed away when I was studying in the UK. So, I didn't really go through the experience of having to be there at their funerals, and I managed to cope quite well. Perhaps, the physical distance helped. Both my maternal grandparents passed away before my mother got married, so no real experience there.

The only real and close encounter with having to deal with the passing of a relative was when my aunt passed away about two years ago. My wife and I was at her bedside in the ICU of Institut Jantung Negara (IJN) about half an hour before she drew her last breath. When we left IJN, we got a call from another aunt saying that she was gone. We drove back to IJN, then literally escorted the ambulance to Putrajaya where she was to be buried. The next day was the funeral. My parents came all the way from Kulim. It was quite a family reunion, though everyone was mourning.

Now, I'm dealing with the death of a friend. I feel somewhat strange today. It's as if a part of my past is now missing. Come to think of it, each and everyone whom we meet makes up a little piece of the jigsaw puzzle that we call "life." When that little piece is gone, the picture is no longer perfect.

Grieving is a learning experience as we traverse this life of ours. In our lifetime, we will grief for others. But alas, we have to learn to cope with grief, and get on with our lives. Those who have passed on will always be remembered and cherished in our memories.

In memoriam: Ahmad Faizal Ahmad Fadzil

Truth be told, I only know Ahmad Faizal Ahmad Fadzil at a professional level. He was deputy to my current boss when my boss was serving the State Government of Johor. I think it must be circa 1999 when I first met Faizal. Since then, we would meet now and again whenever IKIM and the Johor State Government co-organised programmes. Then about two years ago, both my boss and Faizal left the state government to lay the groundwork for the establishmen of Yayasan Ilmuwan in Kuala Lumpur. By now, we would meet more frequently as I was also in the midst of leaving IKIM to join this foundation. Faizal was Executive Director of Yayasan Ilmuwan.

When I officially joined Yayasan Ilmuwan on 1st December 2005, our relationship as colleagues brought us closer as friends. But fate would have it that Faizal and my boss parted ways sometime in the middle of last year. Faizal left Yayasan Ilmuwan, and I was asked to fill up his position - something that I felt very reluctant to do. Even after he left the foundation, we still maintained contact although we didn't quite see each other that often anymore.

Today is indeed a sad day as Faizal has left all of us forever. I have always dreaded days like today, for when I have to mourn the passing of a friend. This is a first for me, as this is the first time in my life, a friend has passed on. Even though we were not that close, but because of our good working relationship, I feel somewhat empty with his passing.

I am very sure that those who know him better will miss him very very dearly. I know for a fact that his loved ones - his wife, his children, his parents, his siblings and his relatives - would undoubtedly feel saddened by his sudden and untimely death. I could only imagine how they are feeling at this moment. And I could only sympathise with their loss.

I pray that his family would remain strong. I pray that Allah SWT would place Faizal amongst the souls of the blessed ones and that he would be placed in Paradise.

Although our friendship was brief, I shall dearly miss Ahmad Faizal Ahmad Fadzil.

Al-Fatihah.

Trust your doctor

My work would involve medical practitioners from time to time. I have seen their dedication and passion for their work. I have witnessed how they'd sacrifice their time and energy just to see their patients make it through.

Yesterday was a sombre day for me. A former colleague of mine from Yayasan Ilmuwan, who is only 39 years old, has been warded at one of the local private hospitals. He was in semi-conscious state when I visited him. His breathing was irregular, hence was assisted by a ventilator. He had diabetes which has resulted in a bad gangrenous infection on his legs. This same infection has gone into his blood stream causing his breathing problems.

Apparently, he has been diagnosed with diabetes many years ago. It all started when he had a small cut on his foot. This small cut was not treated properly. I was told that he didn't treat it using modern medicine, instead he went to one of these alternative therapies which applied colour as a form of healing. He felt that things were getting better.

Over the years, his cut on his foot got worse. What began as a small cut was now beginning to spread. He went to see a doctor at Hospital Selayang, who advised him to have his foot amputated for fear of having the infection spreading. He refused. This was earlier this year.

Then, after Chinese New Year, things got worse. The infection have gone all the way up his ankle. When he was warded, the infection was already at his thigh, and seems to be spreading further up. Definitely it would be impossible to amputate at this stage.

The doctors are waiting for his blood test which is supposed to be ready tomorrow. By then, the doctors would know what to do as the next course of action. Unfortunately, they only give him a 20-30% chance of survival.

If only he had gone for his treatment much much earlier. If only he had taken the advice of the doctor at Hospital Selayang. Too many ifs... but all this don't matter much now, as we cannot dwell on what could have been at this point in time.

I know that many of us dread to have parts of our body amputated. If you are not sure, get a second professional opinion, or even a third. If all agree that the same course of action should be taken, then have faith in these doctors. They are trained professionals who are there to save lives, not the other way around.

My former colleague is now fighting for his life. He has 4 young children. He is only 39 years old. As my boss said yesterday, "Too young to go."

Our prayers are with him. I hope yours are too.

UPDATED (11.07 a.m.):
Ahmad Faizal Ahmad Fadzil passed away at 10.45 a.m. today at Subang Jaya Medical Centre. My heartfelt condolences to his family. And may Allah SWT bless his soul.

Al-Fatihah.

New links on the blog

I have added a couple of new links on this blog.

One is a link to a friend's blog, Rabiatul Adawiyah. She's an old friend who is also a novelist. Visit her blog if you're into Malay novels.

Another is an organ donation link. A visitor to this blog has set up a Friendster site called Dare2Donate. Have a visit to this site.

If I could reach higher

Everyone has dreams. Everyone has ambitions. Everyone has their targets in life.

Throughout my relatively short time on this planet, I have set many targets in my life. Some, I have achieved. Others, I have surpassed. A few, I have yet to reach. The rest, however, may not be realised.

Being human, nonetheless, I have never been satisfied with my achievements. I feel that I could do better. I know that I can do more. I feel that I have yet to reach my peak.

Am I being ambitious if I set targets that others may deem unrealistic? Am I being dreamy for trying to do things that people may think ridiculous?

I do things because I want to do them. I do things because I know that I can accomplish them. I do things, for the most part, to challenge myself to be a better person.

The year 2007 has so far been pretty good, alhamdulillah. I have set in motion many things that I have set to accomplish by the year's end. In fact, I have achieved some of them already. All I need to do now is to work towards the achievements of these goals.

Some of these goals are very personal, as such they cannot be made public. But there are others that are not, and these will be blogged here from time to time. Whatever these goals may be, I pray to Allah SWT that I'll be given the strength, energy, good health and wisdom to realise them.

Of course, just like everyone else, ultimately, my goal is to attain happiness in this world and the hereafter. And truth be told, no other target or ambition is higher than this.

Childhood innocence

Earlier today, as I was walking back from breakfast, I passed by two girls, probably about 6 or 7 years of age, chatting in front of a clinic. The following is their dialogue:

Girl 1: Ayah kita garang, tapi mak kita baik.
Girl 2: Mak kita lagi baik.
Girl 1: Kalau kita minta apa-apa dengan mak kita, dia kasi apa yang kita minta.
Girl 2: Ye ke?
Girl 1: Yer laaa... tapi dia kasi sikit saja.
Girl 2: Mak kita kasi semua yang kita minta tau!

I didn't know how the conversation ended because I had passed them by that time. In any case, I managed to smile at their little conversation because it reminded me of the innocence of children.

Now that we're older, I wonder: Where has the innocence gone?