Student life

Last Sunday, I was in Kuantan sending my now grown-up little sister to register for her undergraduate studies at the Kuantan campus of the International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM).

All the best, Liyana. Enjoy your student life. Nothing will come close to this experience.

I know I'm missing my undergraduate life already.

And that reminds me... I need to register for the new semester for my PhD.

Mid-year already

Time sure does fly. We are already in the second half of 2008. The first half has been eventful, for me at least. A lot has taken place, and I'm pretty sure more will follow in the second half of the year.

Before you know it, we'll be ushering in 2009. Sometimes it feels like the years are getting shorter. But I think it feels like that because we have so much to do compared to before, making it feels like time is running faster than before. Then again, who knows, maybe time is running faster than before.

I said it before, and I'll say it again.

Time sure does fly.

Let the buzz begin

Once in a while, I would indulge in a certain amount of self-promotion to publicise my work, particularly my novels. So, here goes:

Transgenesis: Bisikan Rimba, my second novel under the pen-name Amir Husaini, is now in bookstores nationwide. My editor, Mat Jan, summed up the story as a sci-fi thriller. I'll let you judge for yourself.

Drop me a line with feedbacks when you're done reading. There have been a couple of feedbacks so far that can be found in the blogosphere. For those who may be interested, a direct feedback can be found here while an indirect one here (via a comment posted by a visitor).

As a side note, I have purposely left a number of plot points opened. Should Transgenesis: Bisikan Rimba do well enough, there will be a sequel next year.

Who watches the watch?

Sometimes I think I may be losing my mind. Consider the following that happened to me yesterday.

I had some errands to do around the vicinity of Bangsar yesterday afternoon. So, for the Zuhur prayer, I went to Masjid Abu Bakar As-Siddiq. As usual, I would take off my watch when performing the ablution or wudhu'. My habit would be to put the watch inside the left pocket of my trousers - which is also where I place all my keys and believe it or not, thumbdrives. After finishing with the ablution, I went to the prayer hall to perform the Zuhur prayer.

After that is done, I would usually put on my watch again. When I searched for my watch, I couldn't find it in my pocket. Of course, I didn't actually empty my pocket to search for it. That's why at that point in time I didn't think much about not finding my watch. I thought to myself, perhaps it got tangled with all the stuff in the pocket.

When I finished my errands in Bangsar, I went straight home. When I emptied my pocket, my watch is nowhere to be found. Keys - check. Thumbdrives - check. Watch - not there. I was puzzled. I could have sworn I took off my watch and put it in my pocket. I was quite down to say the least. That watch was special as it was a wedding gift from my seafaring brother.

Nonetheless, I didn't give up. Later that evening, I returned to my office to make sure everything is locked up. And I took that opportunity to check whether I actually left my watch at the office. And no watch to be found. Oh, well. I have more or less resigned to the fact that the watch that my brother gave me is now history.

This morning, as usual, I came to the office. After the usual routine of checking and replying my e-mails, glancing through the things I need to get done today, a few phone calls, and other mundane stuff, I suddenly caught a glimpse of something shiny on my table. Lo and behold, it's the watch that I was looking for all afternoon the day before.

I thought that I had my watch with me when I went to Bangsar. I rarely take off my watch at the office, but did I do that yesterday? And like I said before, I remembered taking off my watch when performing the ablution, but did that not happen? Was I imagining things? Am I becoming forgetful? Why didn't I see the watch when I returned to the office yesterday evening?

Really, there are not that many explanations as to what happened.

One, I took off my watch at the office before leaving for Bangsar. It was there on the table all along, and I probably just missed it when I searched for it yesterday evening. But if this was the case, why is it that I cannot shake the image of myself taking the watch off when performing the ablution? The image is so vivid and very real.

Two, I had my watch on with me all the time. I took it off at the masjid as I thought, but most probably misplaced it. That is why I couldn't find it in my pocket or in my office. But if this was the case, who - or what - put it on my table this morning?

Creepy, isn't it?

For possibility number one to happen, that would mean that I have been forgetful or perhaps imagining things. Maybe I forgot to distinguish between reality and fantasy. Having said that, I am worried that similar incidents like this may repeat itself again.

For possibility number two to take place, that would mean that I am reading and writing too many metaphysical stories. It sounded like a scene right out of The X-Files or a page out of a Stephen King's novel. I shudder the thought that what took place was actually this second possibility.

Perhaps, as a dear friend casually reminded me some time last week, I really should take a break. I have not been on holiday in the real sense of the word in years. Maybe that's all that I need.

But why can't I shake off that theme from The X-Files from my ears?

The walk

Today is the first day in eight years that I actually walked to the office. My wife has a car, yes. But she drives the car to her school everyday, which is about 15 km from our home. So, as of today, I don't have a choice but to walk.

Don't get me wrong though. I'm not complaining. It's a good thing actually. With the petrol price hike and the rising inflation due to the increased prices of goods, I think I have made the right choice in letting go of my car. As a plus point, the walk to and from the office would actually provide me with a little exercise on a daily basis - something that I have neglected when I owned a car.

The walk from home to the office today was actually quite enjoyable. The air was very much fresh today. The sun was hiding behind some clouds. And there was wind blowing, cooling things somewhat. I actually enjoyed the walk.

When I got to the office, I sort of said to myself, I wished the walk was longer. And believe it or not, that wish became a reality. I forgot to bring the key to my room! And so I had to walk back home to get the key before walking back to the office again.

It didn't matter that I had to walk twice to the office the morning. The walk was still great.

I should've done this a long time ago.

Fare well, old faithful

Exactly eight years to the day I bought it, my Proton Wira is officially sold. The car has served me well all throughout the eight years without giving much of a problem.

Thank you and fare well, old faithful.

True colours

Still on the subject of colours, but of a different sort.

Sometimes you may think that you know someone well enough because of your time-tested friendship. But actually, a friendship is not truly tested until one goes through a sudden change in fortunes.

You could suddenly encounter hardship, and it is during these hard times that you would know who your true friends are. Conversely, you could suddenly have a change in fortunes by becoming slightly affluent, and it is during these times that you could identify who wants to become your friends when you're doing well.

Also, it is interesting to note that when your friend's fortunes have changed, there are instances when he or she would also change. It is during this time that you would witness what your long-time friend - someone you thought you knew - is capable of doing. It is during this time that you come to realise this friend's true character.

It is as if this friend suddenly changes colour overnight. But I believe that this change does not occur overnight. Rather, the traits that manifested after the change are actually there all along. The only thing is that before the change took place, these traits lay dormant within one's self. It is as if these traits are being repressed by other traits - like friendship, for instance.

And what happens to you when your friend seemingly changes colour? I suppose the feeling would be mixed. The overwhelming sentiment would be that of betrayal. And betrayal most definitely hurts and would put a strain on the friendship that has been built over the years.

It is indeed regrettable if it comes to that. But alas, friendship is not a one-way street. It requires both parties to respect and trust one another. When respect is no longer there and when trust is betrayed, there is nothing else left but a feeling of hurt, anger and bitterness.

Changing colours

Choosing the right colours can be tricky. What is pleasing to one's eyes may hurt other people's eyes. Or in the case of my blog, the colour I chose before appeared pleasing on my laptop, but when viewed on other people's computer, it appeared too bright.

My sister remarked about the colour before, but I thought it was just a matter of opinion. Then the enigmatic Enigma made the same remarks, followed by Opah De. So when I checked my blog using my sister's computer, then only I realised why everyone is complaining.

And so, I present you with the new background colour for this humble blog. Hopefully, this time around, it is more acceptable and pleasing to everyone's eyes.

[But let me know if it's not].

Piercing pain

It happened once over a year ago, and I blogged about it here. Now, I'm suffering from ulcer at the tip of the tongue again. The tip of the tongue is no place to have an ulcer. The pain is excruciating especially when I eat and talk. Everytime when I open my mouth, the pain increases. The pain is bad enough as it is when the mouth is closed. Perhaps it's a none-too-subtle reminder for me to cut down on my meals as well as talking less.

I wonder how those people with pierced tongue manage the pain? Gahhh!

This condition I am having is called oral ulcer. It has been three days now, and I hope that the condition will improve. The pain has put me off writing somewhat. I had wanted to finish off a story I'm writing last night, but instead I find myself sleeping (to ease the pain).

Lost?

Ever get the feeling that things are happening around you, and yet you don't know what's actually happening? Frankly this is my exact feelings at the moment. Whether I have been left out intentionally or otherwise is anybody's guess, but I do feel somewhat "lost" in the scheme of things at the moment.

Oh, well. I'll just continue with what I'm doing.

Friday delight

I am delighted with two good news today.

First, I finally get to move into my new office. The long wait is finally over. While work on the floor is not completely done, at least my office space is fit for work. So, after exactly a month since the rest of the staff moved, I get to join them at the new office at last. No more squatting for me.

Second, I received an e-mail from my editor informing me that my second novel, Transgenesis: Bisikan Rimba, is out. A call to the publisher's marketing department confirmed this. By the end of the week, it should be available in major bookstores nationwide. I will only be getting my complimentary copies after Tuesday though, as my editor is on leave. [I'll go and get a copy of my own at the bookstore soon, just to quell this anxiety that I have at the moment].

So, there you have it. After quite a wait, I get to heave a double sigh of relief.

Alhamdulillah.

Reality bites

Yesterday's announcement caught many by surprise, to say the least. Many expected a price hike, but didn't expect the 40.6% increase for petroleum and 63.3% increase for diesel. For the past couple of months, I have been talking to friends working in Petronas, and they told me that the price hike for petroleum and diesel is inevitable. The questions then were when and by how much. And the answers were revealed yesterday. That's reality for you.

How do I look at it? I agree that the price increase is unavoidable. And to continue with the subsidy would be economically-suicidal in the long term. As it is, with the current pricing, the government is still subsidising RM0.30 per litre.

No doubt, most of us will find this increase causing a major dent in the wallet. We are talking about a 40% increase. So, if you spent RM500 a month on petrol before, that means you'll be spending RM700 now. And that's just for petrol. Just imagine if this increase is translated into escalating costs on other things. Things like foodstuff, public transport, electricity tariffs, as well as other goods and services. That would surely spell more financial trouble for most of us.

Most definitely, everyone will have to do a lot of adjusting in the way we spend and manage our finances. We have no choice but to spend prudently and prioritise on our spendings. Of course, this is easier said than done.

As for me? Coincidentally, for the past few weeks, I have been talking about selling my car. And interestingly, I already have a buyer. The potential buyer owns a Volvo that is petrol-consuming, and he travels from Kulim to Penang everyday. With the jam on the Penang Bridge, just imagine how much he will have to spend on petrol alone. So, switching to a Proton Wira 1300cc is perhaps a wise option for him.

So, I'll be selling the "old faithful" which I have owned for nearly eight years. [Eight years this 20th June actually]. And since my office is only three minutes away, the logical choice for me is to walk.

It'd do my wallet a whole lot of good.

And my tummy, too.

Get cracking

After a chat with a friend last night, I realised that my plate is full with a number of writing commitments. I have to get cracking real fast, otherwise I'll be behind schedule. This is the thing with writing... your head may be bursting and flooding with ideas, but your body is just too tired to sit down and write.

Writer's block? I hope not.

Squatting nomad

And so the agony continues...

Would you believe it? I still can't move into my office. Level 3 is still not fit to be used as a workspace. Work is still on-going, and dust is everywhere. Not to mention the hammering and banging and what-have-you.

I am now like a homeless (or rather, officeless) nomad without an actual place to work from. At the moment, I am utilising one area on Level 2 to work from. Feels like squatting, nonetheless.

There are times though that I feel like working from home. After all, it's only a three-minute walk from home to the office, which is nearer than walking from the old office to the new one.

Stimulating discussion

I had an appointment at 11 a.m. with Ms. Dina Zaman. She is a well-known columnist and author, who has a regular column in The Star called "A Writer's Life" and has penned the award-winning best-selling book entitled I am Muslim. Go get the book and read it with an open mind - it's very stimulating.

The appointment was set about two weeks ago. She is currently carrying out a research for the Malaysian AIDS Council (MAC) on awareness and understanding of HIV/AIDS in Malaysia. The President of MAC, Professor Dr. Adeeba Kamaruzzaman - whom I've worked with in the past - suggested my name as one of the people to be interviewed for the research. I was greatly honoured to be recognised in such a way. To me, this interview actually presented an opportunity for me to present my views and thoughts on the matter at hand.

Needless to say, the interview became an interesting and stimulating discussion about a variety of things, ranging from attitudes of Malaysians (and particularly Muslims in the country) towards HIV/AIDS to apathy and complacency of the community towards this pertinent issue. I have to say that it has indeed been a long while since my mind felt stimulated in a discussion.

Aside from organ and tissue donation and transplantation, I have an interest in the issue of HIV/AIDS as well. Although I don't get that much opportunity to talk on this issue compared to organ and tissue donation and transplantation, the issue of HIV/AIDS remains close to my mind. After all, my very first novel, Ombak Senja, dwells on the stigma of a man living with HIV/AIDS.

It was indeed a nice two hours plus spent with Ms. Dina Zaman. I hope that I could continue to assist MAC in the future as I have in the past. And I hope to meet up with the down-to-earth writer in the future.

And yes, I did get an autograph from her.

That extra cushion

Weight can be an issue with a lot of people. I think this is because weight has to do with how one looks, and how one looks has to do with one feeling good about one's self.

Long-time friends would know how skinny I was. A lot of people tried to get me to put on weight to no avail. Until I was married in 2000, I was around 55kg and not more. I remember being around 49kg when I left to further my studies in early 1992.

Then, circa 2002, I contracted an allergy. The dermatologist prescribed me a number of medications which I had to take for about a year (because the allergy kept coming back). Aside from having to refrain from eating seafood and some other types of food, I also acquired an appetite. As a result, I gained an extra 7kg in that one year alone - not to mention an increasing waistline.

Then fatherhood came in 2005. And with that, my weight got up to about 67kg, and later seems to stabilise at 65kg. And needless to say, with the extra weight, comes the expanding waistline. My wife doesn't complain, and my two sons seem to enjoy the extra cushion on the tummy.

In any case, for the past couple of months, I have been looking after my diet a lot more strictly than before. I have begun to eat less rice. And last month, my weight has come down to 60kg. My waistline has also decreased proportionately.

Then came the school holidays a week ago. My wife and sons went back to our hometown to spend the school holidays there. I only went back during the weekends. As such, I had to eat out most of the times when I'm in KL. And after one week of eating out, I gained an extra 5kg - or rather, the 5kg that I shed decided to come back!

Oh, well. That's what eating out does to you. Frankly, there's nothing like home-cooked meals. It's a lot healthier, cleaner and you can enjoy them with your family in your own home.

Trying to think positively, I think my sons would probably enjoy that extra cushion on my tummy...

Three minutes

I actually timed how long it takes for me to walk from the door of my home to the entrance of my office.

Three minutes!

And that's when I walk rather casually.

Never in my life would I imagine that I'd be working three minutes from where I live. Now... if only the contractor would speed up the renovation work, so that I have an office space to work from.

Agony of waiting

While the staff of Yayasan Ilmuwan has settled down (more or less) at the new office, I am still stuck at the old office. It has been three weeks since they moved. Despite reassurance from the contractor, work on Level 3 is still not completed, made worse by the unexpected leakage that occurred recently. All the damage carpet, floorboards and ceiling had to be replaced - and this only prolonged the agony of waiting.

It is most unproductive to have to operate from two premises, ridiculous even. I'm giving them till the end of the week. Come Monday, I will move in - whether my office is fully ready or not.

Ideas... ideas...

A few people wondered out loud how I got my ideas to write. Frankly, for a person who writes quite a bit, this is quite a difficult question to answer.

Ideas just come unexpectedly. I noticed that most times ideas would come when I drive on the highway or watch documentaries. And oft-times, ideas come at night. The unfortunate thing for me is that I don't jot down these ideas when they came. More often than not, I would commit these ideas to memory.

Of course, sources of ideas include books, documentaries and people. That is why when I have time to spare (and there's not much time for me to spare really), I would observe people at shopping complexes, parks, on the roads, etc.

And another source of ideas would have to be discussions or casual chats with friends. Sometimes you'd be inspired by a particular story or anecdote that someone relates. This would occasionally trigger new or fresh ideas that could then be used for writing.

Then, when I am in the mood to write (and this mood doesn't come every day), I would utilise my idea bank to incorporate ideas into my writing.

Back in KL

After returning from Kuala Terengganu on Friday, I left for Kedah on Saturday. My family organised an aqiqah ceremony for my second son on Sunday. While my family remains in Kedah, I am now back in Kuala Lumpur. The drive back from Kedah was quite pleasant, but I do feel somewhat exhausted after the accumulated mileage over the past ten days.

Sometimes I feel like I need a decent break. Alas, the time for that has yet to come.